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Last Updated
26 Jul 2007

On the BBC Radio 4 show I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, one of the rounds requires the teams to compete to produce the shortest possible rendition of books, films etc. Here are some of the teams' suggestions, along with some of my suggestions. If you have any ideas you would like included, please e-mail me here, and I will add the best ones (with full credit to you of course)

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Romeo & Juliet: 
I love you.
I love you too.
I'm dead!
So am I!
No - Just kidding...oh bugger!
Bristol
22 May 2006
[ Any Carry On film
Oo-Err. That's a big one!
You can say that again! Not broadcast]
Bristol
22 May 2006
Brief Encounter: 
Hello.
Hello.
I've got something in my eye.
Shall I get it out?
Best not, I'm married.
Oh, there's my train.
Goodbye forever.
Goodbye.
Bristol
22 May 2006
War And Peace: 
God! I'm glad that's over!
Bristol
22 May 2006
[ EastEnders: 
He's killed three people, slept with his mother, and deals in drugs.
I know, but 'e's family! Not broadcast]
Bristol
22 May 2006
Lost: 
So, I expect there's a story attached to how you came to be getting in this particular plane that crashed.
Yes.
Is it interesting?
Not really, no, but I'll tell you at some point. What's that thing in the bushes?
It's a metaphor for everyone's fear that if they ever stop watching, something will happen one week and they'll miss it.
Oh.
Bristol
22 May 2006
The Matrix: 
What's going on here?
God knows!
Bristol
22 May 2006
[ Last Of The Summer Wine: 
Eee, I'm knackered!
Well, that's why you got the job...
Shall we slide down t'hill in a bathtub?
Aye, better had. We always do. Not broadcast]
Bristol
22 May 2006
[ The Chronicles Of Narnia: 
Isn't it funny what you find at the back of the wardrobe? Not broadcast]
Bristol
22 May 2006
[ Quote, Unquote: 
John Julius-Norwich - who said: "This would be a good idea for a programme"?
It could only have been you, Nigel. Not broadcast]
Bristol
22 May 2006
[ The Apprentice: 
You're all fired...except for you. Not broadcast]
Bristol
22 May 2006
Romeo & Juliet: 
I love you.
I love you too.
I'm dead!
So am I!
No - Just kidding...oh bugger!
2006 Xmas Special
25 Dec 2006
Brief Encounter: 
Hello.
Hello.
I've got something in my eye.
Shall I get it out?
Best not, I'm married.
Oh, there's my train.
Goodbye forever.
Goodbye.
2006 Xmas Special
25 Dec 2006
War And Peace: 
God! I'm glad that's over!
2006 Xmas Special
25 Dec 2006
Lost: 
So, I expect there's a story attached to how you came to be getting in this particular plane that crashed.
Yes.
Is it interesting?
Not really, no, but I'll tell you at some point. What's that thing in the bushes?
It's a metaphor for everyone's fear that if they ever stop watching, something will happen one week and they'll miss it.
Oh.
2006 Xmas Special
25 Dec 2006
The Matrix: 
What's going on here?
God knows!
2006 Xmas Special
25 Dec 2006
Waiting For Godot: 
Do you think he'll come?
Probably not.
Cardiff
18 Jun 2007
King Lear: 
I'm going to leave it all to the girls.
You must me mad!
Oh yeah.
Cardiff
18 Jun 2007
Die Hard: 
Look at the state of your vest. What happened?
If I told you, you wouldn't believe it.
Cardiff
18 Jun 2007
Pirates Of The Caribbean: 
Arrh! Arrh! Ooh-Arrh! Ah-Haar!
What's going on?
I've got no idea.
Cardiff
18 Jun 2007
Lord Of The Rings: 
Every time I put this ring on, I become invisible.
Oh. I'd take it back if I was you.
Cardiff
18 Jun 2007
(d?) after venue signifies a query regarding the Date of broadcast,
(??) signifies a query regarding Venue of broadcast


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