The ISIHAC
Doctors' Jargon Page

Last Updated
29 Dec 2006

On the BBC Radio 4 show I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, one of the rounds includes suggestions for examples of Doctors' jargon, along with a translation. Here are some of the teams' suggestions, along with some of my suggestions. If you have any ideas you would like included, please e-mail me here, and I will add the best ones (with full credit to you of course)

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You may experience some discomfort = ...or you could go private. Bury St Edmunds
27 Nov 1993
There's a lot of it about = I've got that - what are you taking for it? Bury St Edmunds
27 Nov 1993
I should cut down on the booze if I were you = Blimey, you drink nearly as much as I do! Bury St Edmunds
27 Nov 1993
I'll ask Nurse Simpson to come in here, then you can slip your things off = Nurse Simpson likes a good laugh. Bury St Edmunds
27 Nov 1993
You won't feel a thing = You'll be dead. Bury St Edmunds
27 Nov 1993
I wouldn't worry if I were you = I'd panic! Bury St Edmunds
27 Nov 1993
We just need a little specimen = You won't be able to do anything for a while, & then you'll be terrified it's going to overflow. Bury St Edmunds
27 Nov 1993
I hope my hands aren't too cold = I've lost all sense of feeling. Bury St Edmunds
27 Nov 1993
Let's try these new pills = I haven't the faintest idea what's wrong with you.
08 Jun 1985
Let's continue with these new pills = I haven't the faintest idea what's wrong with you.
08 Jun 1985
I'm going to take you off these pills = I've got a very good idea what's wrong with you.
08 Jun 1985
I can thoroughly recommend these new pills = The sales rep brought them in this morning.
08 Jun 1985
Let's try these new pills = I haven't the faintest idea what's wrong with you.
08 Jun 1985
I'd like to see you again in a fortnight = This way I might find out what these new pills do.
08 Jun 1985
You should have come to see me before this = I've got a golf match in twenty minutes.
08 Jun 1985
This won't take long = I've got a golf match in twenty minutes.
08 Jun 1985
The patient is as well as can be expected = The patient is as well as can be expected...considering I'm the doctor.
08 Jun 1985
Are you a member of BUPA? = This is going to cost you an arm & a leg...possibly quite literally.
08 Jun 1985
How are we today? = I'm fine, you look terrible.
08 Jun 1985
Well, the baby certainly doesn't take after you Mrs.Ponsonby-Smythe = It's black.
08 Jun 1985
You'll be with us for years yet = Don't buy any calendars.
08 Jun 1985
(d?) after venue signifies a query regarding the Date of broadcast,
(??) signifies a query regarding Venue of broadcast


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