| Silence of the Lambs: Dr. Lechter was a vegetarian. | Woking
29 May 2000 |
| "Hello Godot...What are you doing here?" | Woking
29 May 2000 |
| "I've brought you the head of Alfredo Garcia." | Woking
29 May 2000 |
| The English Patient: "What do you mean, a waiting list?" | Woking
29 May 2000 |
| Angela's Ashes: "Ma'am, I got all six numbers & the bonus ball!" | Woking
29 May 2000 |
| Diary of Anne Franck: "She's in the attic!" | Woking
29 May 2000 |
| The Bible: In the beginning, there were three little pigs. | Woking
29 May 2000 |
| The Nativity: "It's a girl!" | Woking
29 May 2000 |
| Watership Down: "It looks like mixamatosis to me" | Woking
29 May 2000 |
| Casualty: "I think I'll just put on my fireproof overalls before I light the barbeque" | Woking
29 May 2000 |
| Merchant of Venice: "No thanks, Shylock. I've got a loan from the Woolwich" | Woking
29 May 2000 |
| King James Bible: "I'm not authorising this!" | Woking
29 May 2000 |
| The Graduate: "God, that Mrs. Robinson has let herself go a bit" | Woking
29 May 2000 |
| The Famous Five: "Well, bugger me!", said George | Woking
29 May 2000 |
| Little Red Riding Hood: "I can't be bothered to traipse all the way to granny's house, I think I'll phone her instead" said Little Red Riding Hood | Kevin Hale
|
| The Nativity: "If you think I'm staying in a bloody stable, you've got another think coming!" said Mary | Kevin Hale
|
| "...and tonight on Stars In Their Eyes, we have four people who are going to sing in the style of Jeremy Hardy" | Kevin Hale
|
| Murder on the Orient Express: The famous Orient Express had just been taken over by Virgin Trains... | Kevin Hale
|
| Jack & the Beanstalk: Jack went to market with the family cow, & swapped it for a Nintendo... | Kevin Hale
|
| The Three Little Pigs: "I've gone off pork - I think I'll have a nice Pot Noodle instead", said the Big Bad Wolf | Kevin Hale
|
