| Our next game is all about exchanging letters between unlikely correspondents. It's called 84 Chicken Cross Road. [ {??? unreadable} our own Barry Cryer who engaged in a lengthy correspondence with J.K. Rowling when she was a struggling writer. Sadly, this fascinating glimpse into the real character of the correspondents was to stop as soon as she found fame and fortune, and could afford to take out a restraining order... Not broadcast] With the advent of the internet and e-mail, letter writing has largely gone out of fashion, to the extent that before long, the good-old postage stamp will become redundant, and there will be no more commemmorative issues such as the Queen's Golden Jubilee set, [ where in celebration, the Post Office surprised us all by printing a picture of a young smiling woman on each one. Not broadcast] which is a shame. My favourite issue was depicting breeds of British dogs, each one coming with a special instruction to sniff the back before licking it... | Basingstoke
06 Dec 2004 |
The teams are now going to take us back to the golden age of correspondence. The art of letter writing has largely died out these days, in part thanks to our country's declining standards of literacy, which are absolutely appaling (it says here 'appealing')
(before the Correspondence round) | Hull
20 Dec 2004 |
In the next round, the teams will take turns to play the parts of characters from history - it's what we call 'typecasting'. Their task is to take us back to the golden age of letter writing. It was a time when the likes of Samuel Pepys would sit at his writing desk with an array of quill pens, and gaze out of the window for inspiration from the flocks of bald pigeons...
(before the Correspondence round) | Tunbridge Wells
10 Jan 2005 |
OK. I keep saying 'OK' all the time. It gives an entirely false impression. In our next round, the teams will take us back to the golden age of correspondence, as, in this modern electronic age, proper letter writing has all but died out. With e-mail and the like, we've lost the joy of opening a crisp envelope with a letter knife and the expectant delight at sliding out the two halves of a Postal Order, [ and of the little love messages one could add coded as place names, like BURMA, NORWICH, and MIDDLE WALLOP. Back in the Victorian age, a gentleman of high standing would revel in the simple pleasure derived from dipping his solid gold fountain pen into a Cartier inkwell to write a carefully crafted death sentence for stealing two apple cores and a potato peeling Not broadcast]...
(before the Correspondence round) | Ipswich
30 May 2005 |
[ The teams are going to take us back now to a golden age of letter writing, with a tribute to Sir Roland Hill, the father of our modern postal service. Before he devised his system, a first class letter could take up to seven weeks to be delivered from London to York - something the Royal Mail can today achieve in half the time... Not broadcast]
(before the Correspondence round) | Rhyl
13 Jun 2005 |
The teams are going to take us back to a golden age of letter writing now, [ with a tribute to Sir Roland Hill, the father of our modern postal service. Before he devised his system, a letter could take up to seven weeks to be delivered from London to Oxford...something today's first class Mail can achieve in half the time. Not broadcast] Letter writing these days has all but died out, with the advent of email and mobile phones, but I have to say I find this technology a little baffling. Only this week, my mobile phone company tried to get me to download the Crazy Frog. Who the hell wants Jacques Chirac in a crash helmet {???unreadable}
(before the Correspondence round) | Oxford
27 Jun 2005 |
Our next game takes us back to a golden era of letter writing. [ Even before today's age of electronic communication, alternatives to the written letter were available. For example, Lord Nelson sent orders to his ships via signal flags strung between masts. However, on one occasion while in harbour, Lady Hamilton hung her smalls out to dry and the entire fleet promptly opened fire on the Portsmouth branch of Dorothy Perkins... Not broadcast]
(before the Correspondence round) | Edinburgh
01 Sep 2005 |
[ OK, the teams are going to demonstrate now the art of letter writing. With the near universal use of e-mail these days, I mourn the passing of proper handwriting. That's why I insist my scripts are written in nothing but the clearest kipper plate...sorry, that's copper plate...calligraphy. Not broadcast]
(before the Correspondence round) | London Palladium
14 Nov 2005 |
[ Our next game is set to revive the art of letter writing. Long before the age of e-mail and texting there existed many ingenious forms of communication. In ancient China, the Emperor sent his secret messages written on the shaven heads of servants. The servant would set off when his hair had grown back, and on arrival, the message was revealed by a barber. By far the most common was 'Please send a bottle of Old Spice and a packet of three'. In the twentieth century, the Aldis Lamp was developed to flash morse code instructions between ships, with the result that one foggy night in December, a British destroyer found itself taking orders from the Bismark's christmas disco lights, and set off to attack the Y.M.C.A. Not broadcast]
(before the Correspondence round) | Harrogate
19 Dec 2005 |
Our next game is set to revive the art of letter writing. Long before the age of e-mail and texting there existed many ingenious forms of communication. [ In ancient China, secret messages were written on the shaven heads of servants. The servant would set off when his hair had grown back, and on arrival, the message was revealed by a barber. By far the most common was 'Just a trim round the ears, please'. In the twentieth century, Not broadcast] the Aldis Lamp was developed to flash morse code instructions between ships, with the result that one foggy night in December, a British destroyer found itself taking orders from the Bismark's christmas disco lights, and set off to attack the Y.M.C.A.
(before the Correspondence round) | Bristol
22 May 2006 |
The next round takes us back to the golden age of letter writing. Long before we adopted e-mail, text and FAX, many ingenious methods were devised in order to send messages. In North America, the native Indian tribes used to send messages via smoke signals from one valley to the next. Amongst the most common was: "Help! Our wigwam's on fire!"
(before the Correspondence round) | Birmingham
05 Jun 2006 |
The teams are set to revive the art of letter writing now. [ In this modern age of electronic communication, the art of putting pen to paper has all but died out. Abraham Lincoln didn't need a computer. He wrote the Gettisburg Address in pencil on the back of an envelope, and then solemnly rose before his assembled troops and read "24 Acacia Avenue, Sidcup." And all it took was a short note by Herr Hitler to Neville Chamberlain to prevent World War II. OK, perhaps that's not such a good example. Not broadcast]
(before the Correspondence round) | Halifax
19 Jun 2006 |
[ Our next game takes us back to the golden age of letter writing. Although the art of putting pen to paper has largely died out, non-written forms of communication pre-date the age of electronic mail. In naval warfare, the Aldis Lamp was developed to flash morse code instructions, with the result that one foggy night in 1915, HMS Hood took orders from the Beachy Head lighthouse, and spent the rest of the week chasing a vessel called S.S. S-s-s Not broadcast]
(before the Correspondence round) | Brighton
28 Nov 2005 |
The next round is about letter writing and all that it entails. [ For example, it's most important always to include a postcode. And how often, teams, do you wonder how those fascinating codes are devised? No, me neither. In fact, they're not as simple as they seem. You might think that if you live around Leeds, for example, you'd have a Leeds postcode. Oh no - you might get allocated a Bradford postcode, because that's where your postman comes from, which explains why although I live near Barnet, I've got a Karachi postcode... Not broadcast]
(before the Correspondence round) | Southport
13 Nov 2006 |
[ The next round is about letter writing and all that it entails. For example, it's most important always to include a postcode. And how often, teams, do you wonder how those fascinating codes are devised? No, me neither. In fact, they're not as simple as they seem. You might think that if you live in Chelsea, for example, you'd have a Chelsea postcode, but oh no - you might get allocated a code by Fulham, because that's where the postman comes from, which is why although I live in Barnet, I've got a Karachi postcode... Not broadcast]
(before the Correspondence round) | Victoria Palace
27 Nov 2006 |
We move on now to a round about the dying art of letter writing. [ In days of old, teams, letters were written under the most adverse conditions. One recalls Major Arthur Harrison, who despite his incarceration in a German P.O.W. camp, managed to smuggle out dozens of letters in preparation for his escape attempt. After Major Harrison's funeral in 1974, as a mark of respect, his ashes were scattered by his old army pals, who shuffled about dropping them down their trousers... Not broadcast]
(before the Correspondence round) | Sunderland
11 Dec 2006 |
It's early November, and we're paying a rare visit to London, where tonight the show is to be staged at the Victoria Palace Theatre. As I check into my hotel room, I find a card amongst the shampoo bottles which reads: Please help yourself to our bathroom accessories. What a devil of a job I have getting a heated towel rail off the wall. Arriving by train at London's refurbished Victoria Station, the teams paused to take in the Jeffrey Archer Memorial, which lies next to platform eight. Yes, even his memorial does it. London audiences are notoriously difficult to please, so right from the start, the teams put on their best performance...and when that doesn't work, they give up and go back to the usual stuff...
(before the Correspondence round) | 2006 Xmas Special
25 Dec 2006 |
The teams are going to transport us back to the golden age of letter writing now. In fact, the art of letter writing has enjoyed something of a revival recently, and there are even companies that will write proper old-fashioned letters for you, if you're not great at grammar or spelling. For example, if you want to write to your bank manager, they'll know whether you spell 'git' with one 't' or two. There was one company that even wrote bespoke ransome notes. I always refused to pay them...
(before the Correspondence round) | London Coliseum
04 Jun 2007 |
The teams are set now to revive the art of letter writing. [ In this age of electronic communication, rather than writing letters, it seems everyone is sending texts, jabbing away at their phones with their fingers. Personally, I still prefer the fountain pen, but it does make an inky mess of the keypad. The traditionally written letter will surely always have more impact than any email. Not broadcast] It was one letter written from war-torn Africa by a French doctor to his colleagues in Paris that sparked the foundation of the international aid organization Medicine Sans Frontier, and what a difference their aid workers have made in crisis areas, trying to run up greasy slopes wearing huge papier mache heads...
(before the Correspondence round) | Cardiff
18 Jun 2007 |
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