The ISIHAC
Special Occasions Cards Page

Last Updated
13 Feb 2005

On the BBC Radio 4 show I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, one of the rounds includes suggestions for Special Occasions Cards for specific celebrities or occasions not currently covered by the card manufacturers. Here are some of the teams' suggestions, along with some of my suggestions. If you have any ideas you would like included, please e-mail me here, and I will add the best ones (with full credit to you of course)

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To Betty Boothroyd:

Oh Betty Boothroyd, now you're speaker,
No more talk of the weaker sex.
And if they ignore your "Order! Order!",
Simply break the bastards' necks!
Brighton
13 Jun 1992
To Julius Caesar on the Ides of March:

May we remind you,
We're all behind you.
Brighton
13 Jun 1992
To Mark Thatcher, taking his driving test:

Get lost!
Brighton
13 Jun 1992
To Jeremy Beadle, on the first night of a new series of Beadle's About

Get lost!
Brighton
13 Jun 1992
To Hannibal Lechter:

The name's Jeremy Beadle.
Bon appetit.
Brighton
13 Jun 1992
To Archduke Ferdinand:

Welcome to Sarajevo.
Have a nice day!
Brighton
13 Jun 1992
To Ted Heath:

For years you were persona non grata,
You were viewed as a rotten egg,
But now Mr. Heath, you've a garter
To snap around your podgy leg.
Brighton
13 Jun 1992
To Gerald Kaufmann:

You really are a shooting star.
Come out, come out, wherever you are.
Brighton
13 Jun 1992
To Mark Thatcher:

You're a barron.
Wish your mother had been.
Brighton
13 Jun 1992
(d?) after venue signifies a query regarding the Date of broadcast,
(??) signifies a query regarding Venue of broadcast


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