No Chain Involved = The toilet doesn't flush. | Harrogate 02 Dec 1995 |
A1 Condition = The A1 runs through the garden. | Harrogate 02 Dec 1995 |
Under Offer = Gazumping in progress. | Harrogate 02 Dec 1995 |
Ten minutes from the Sea = or even less if the cliff crumbles. | Harrogate 02 Dec 1995 |
Suit Elderly Couple = Smells of cabbage. | Harrogate 02 Dec 1995 |
Ideal for First Time Buyer = Can only be sold to someone who doesn't know what a real house is supposed to look like. | Harrogate 02 Dec 1995 |
Imposing = The neighbours will come round & never leave. | Harrogate 02 Dec 1995 |
Visual Features = It's an ugly bloke selling it. | Harrogate 02 Dec 1995 |
£125,000 ono = Oh No! | Harrogate 02 Dec 1995 |
Ready for Immediate Occupation = It's in Jersey & the owners were collaborators during the war. | Harrogate 02 Dec 1995 |
Compact Garden = Access to window box. | 07 Apr 1984 |
Semi-Detached = It's falling apart. | 07 Apr 1984 |
Very large period building, praised by John Betjemen. Built on Victorian lines = They're selling St. Pancras. | 07 Apr 1984 |
Open Plan = The Barratt's helicopter crashed on it. | 07 Apr 1984 |
Green Belt = Mouldy skirting. | 07 Apr 1984 |
Reduced for Quick Sale = Please buy it before it collapses. | 07 Apr 1984 |
Studio = A room higher than it is long or wide, & the window is too high up to look out of it. | 07 Apr 1984 |
Ideal for Photographer = As 'Studio', but without the window. | 07 Apr 1984 |
C.H. = Cannot Heat. | 07 Apr 1984 |
Two Recep. = Two receptacles are required to catch the rain dripping through the ceiling. | 07 Apr 1984 |
Needs Some Renovation = Condemned. | 07 Apr 1984 |
Indoor W.C. = Outdoor bath. | 07 Apr 1984 |
Stone's throw from Hyde Park = All the windows are broken. | 07 Apr 1984 |
Within Commuting Distance = Gatwick's at the bottom of the garden. | 07 Apr 1984 |
Attractively Modernised = Flock wallpaper. | 07 Apr 1984 |
Full Of Character = The death-watch beetle are particularly loud. | 07 Apr 1984 |
Listed Building = The Tower of Pisa. | 07 Apr 1984 |